Live from Copper Drive, let’s give a little hand — and some fat fingers — for Carlson as he got back on the Symposium Countdown wagon again. Finally.
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Enter the World of the Hamburger Roll-Hating, Turtle Sushi-Loving, Mullet Man Named Dwin
Okay, I meant to post this earlier in the week, but couldn’t get to it. My bad. But I am getting to it now, mainly because I want something good to read in 20 years when Alzheimer’s sets in and I need to be able to remember some good times that I couldn’t remember the first time.
So, I’m listening to this podcast with The Carlson. And he’s talking to Dwin. So, you know it’s probably spot-on truth all around.
Right.
Anyway, some notes I took as I’m listening along:
- In Year 2, Shaline was the one who put the cup of Dwin’s Yellow Alcoholic Drink of Death — or as most of us call it, embalming fluid — on the top of the cabinet because he didn’t want to drink it.
- Come on Dwin. You went to get a haircut the other week and the place had plumbing issues, so you didn’t get a haircut… BECAUSE THERE”S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING BARBER IN LOS FUCKING ANGELES? Excuse me?
- I left, I was not kicked out in Year 1.
- And yes I did lose chips on my way to Aaron’s apartment and people did find them for two years in flowerbeds. And yes, I came back and still beat all of you fucks.
- It wasn’t Maryann at the dorm we were going to see; it was Ginger. And you guys are still dicks.
- Going to the dorm, Dwin speaks like he thinks it’s fucking Dead Poet’s Society 1963 and that there’s “check in”. It was 1995.
- Yes, Mark was the one trying to cook the hamburger log. “It will thaw.” Nope, still won’t.
- “Nobody was standing on a goddamn turtle. It would have been sushi.” I don’t even know what we’re talking about at this point, but hey, roll with it. Get it? Sushi roll with it. Bwahaha
- There are a lot of wrestling matches that I do not remember, but other people seem to. And most of them, in their minds, include me. I think they’re fake and not true.
Oh, Dwin really? Calling people out for bleeding two stories into one? Seriously fucker? Calm on down now Sally. Let’s settle into a little thing we like to call reality.
And with that, I’m done with my comments on your comments, and at this point, you guys are only 28 minutes into a 72-minute podcast. How the fuck you got 72 minutes I do not know, but I guess I’ll listen to the rest. Just like you’ll have to. Click away here.
Coming home
Tough one here.
Tough year.
I think we all had our own moments with Tony those last few months, and we all couldn’t respect him more for being there for Year 11. He never missed one, and never will. Only The Carlson can say the same in terms of full sessions, and for some reason, I expect he’ll be able to keep that streak intact, the only streak I’d ever approve of him doing.
In his revamped, revived and reviled role as host and mix master, The Carlson talks about Year 11 of the Symposium in this podcast, the last one with Tony with us. So, if you dare, click here to listen to The Carlson drone on and forget his whereabouts repeatedly.
And if you want, leave a memory of Tony in the comment section. I’ll start (even though I’m not doing it in the comments):
The last time I can remember seeing Tony alive was in August of Year 11, well after the Symposium. I came home and we went to a Cubs game. I think Heather’s dad gave us the tickets, and we had good seats, but he really struggled. It was a long, hard day (aren’t all Cubs games, really?) but he made it through and he seemed pretty happy to get to Wrigley. I think he went one last time (probably with Dave) after that, but it was pretty cool to go with him especially because him and I never really did anything together without Aaron.
The reason I really remember this trip is because I don’t typically keep sporting event tickets (I keep concert tickets, but not tickets to games), but a couple years later, I found the ticket to that game in my wallet (yeah, I clean it out that often). It was against the Pirates and I immediately knew it was from my game with Tony. I still have it and carry it in the little travel pouch I keep my passport and important papers when I go on the road. I always have that with me at the Symposium, and it’s kinda like I’m bringing him home with me to Alpha. At least I like to think so, and I hope you have your own way you bring him too.
Man, Aaron is getting old
It’s obvious that we are getting up there in age. This is Year 20, the big XX. You don’t get there with out some age showing.
But Aaron… man. You need to work on some memory games. I’m not sure where you made up some of this stuff, but whatever. It probably sounds better than the truth. Ha.
Or maybe I was drunk when most of that was going on that I think you’re making up. That could be the case. Either way, The Carlson has come through and finally did a CCMP Podcast.
Enjoy.
The Man,The Myth, The Legend, Founder AB.
[Click the above link, idiot]
It’s June, so put on your big-boy pants
We haven’t had a post here in almost a year. The Carlson has blown off his duties as historian and doesn’t do podcasts anymore. JT is the worst blogger in the history of blogging. Boo might as well be in his mid-60s since he’s as connected on social media as EdK.
How the hell has this yearly event of manliness for manly men kept going for 20 years when no one pays attention? All I can guess is that it’s like a Grateful Dead concert in the 1960s, where it’s more like a religious experience and people just “know” where and when to go. Everyone already knows the ‘why’ to go — because if you’re a man, you will understand.
This year will be the 20th anniversary of the Symposium. I still remember sitting in the main office where Aaron worked in the dorm and we used Word (or whatever the 1995 version of Word was) to put clipart together with some stupid lines about trying to say “Come get drunk” without actually saying “Come get drunk”. We didn’t want anyone’s wife or girlfriend to think they were just coming out just to drink, but that was all it was. Well, that and we were tired of having to drive three hours to get home for just to play poker with a bunch of fucks. So we invited the fucks to come join us for once.
And from that, this has happened:
- we’ve moved from Iowa to Illinois;
- used five different venues;
- expanded from nine players the first year to about 25 each of the past 10 years;
- tripled the annual sales of main street gas station in Alpha, Ill.;
- and turned it into an annual pilgrimage for people from Georgia to California, Mississippi to Oregon, and even some slaps from Indiana.
Now it’s time to make that trek again. There may not be the same hype up from The Carlson this year, but hey, who really needs it? We all know how to get there. Now make sure you do.
Hey everyone, I’m The Carlson and I do a podcast once a year … if you’re lucky
I randomly received an email from The Carlson. He doesn’t promise anything. Don’t quote him on actually doing anything, ever again. He did try to sing. Sounded like some 40s singer, in a gay bad way (not that there’s anything wrong with that).
And then it went South from there as he talked about the Patriots and other NFL that he knows nothing about, the NBA Draft and USC winning the BCS title from 2004.
He talks about Philly’s first year at Symposium, Doug’s bachelor party and bringing new people named Steve.
Listen for yourself. And listen now, Mr. Sonofbetch. I vil splash the pot venever the fuck I vant.
2012 in review
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,700 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 7 trips to carry that many people.
Man in the mirror
Credit is given where credit is due. That’s the CCMP way, well, unless you are sure you can bluff everyone and get away with saying you did it. Then that’s the American way.
So, I’ll give credit here to Adam, the only person who has more time to sit around and do nothing productive than RJ and The Carlson combined. And he’ll still bitch that he’s always busy.
Anyway, I’m sure most of you have seen these on Facebook already, but for posterity sake, seeing as we’re an unorganized organization that will keep going into eternity, I thought we should have these here to always remember and cherish. I’ll just let the pics do the speaking on their own. You’re welcome.
The Bad Hulk, Our Lady of the Lake and Mr. Sensitive
Practice. We all need it. Gotta have it. Only can get better with it.
It’s like with poker. You need to practice to get better. Have to see hands, get a feel for the way things can go. Now it doesn’t mean much because the cards will fall as they may, but you can at least minimize the odds of failure and get better at reading others the more you play.
The Carlson has obviously been taking his own advice.
As he seems to be saying in every fucking CCMPodcast, he thinks, over time, he’s getting better at cards. Maybe. Maybe it is that he’s improving. Or maybe it’s that we’re more drunk some years than others. Who knows?
But practice is supposed to make you better. And I’m guessing The Carlson is practicing his radio voice a lot more lately.
Listen to the first 10 seconds of the CCMPodcast and you’ll understand why I say that.
WHOA NELLY.
He’s jumping out of the microphone at you like you’re a Dallas Cowboy’s cheerleader on stage next to the Flying J. (If you don’t know what I mean by that, come to the Symposium this year and you might find out)
Anyway, The Carlson is getting into it. He’s practicing and trying to get better. It’s perfect… except…
He’s getting a little cranky. Mr. Sensitive is getting his buttons pushed obviously. He definitely seems to be prickly about how much he’s repeating stuff and some people must be calling him on it. But I’ll leave it alone.
So he talks about the fact there’s a Top Gun sequel in the works, the “bad” Hulk — it’s amazing how much you find the Nerd Herd prodding its ugly head into the inner workings of CCMP lately.
He also brings up Bartman, but why I ask? It’s done. Why does everyone have to bring up Bartman? Ass.
In membership news, The Carlson notes Joe was sprung, Mick came down and Our Lady of the Lake was born. Glen’s swim was like the Lochness Monster because it was unbelievable if only for the grainy picture that was taken but can’t totally be believed to be truth.
It was back to Alpha and the air conditioning, no Daisy Dooks. Normal stuff.
Oh, and did I mention The Carlson is getting all sensitive? He’s acting all Porky Pig and repeating himself, or so he says. Hmm, maybe we’re getting to him.
Anyway, as he noted, we had 25 people, a long way from where this started, nine years before. It’s the first year of the Texas Hold ‘Em tournament, which The Carlson said was won by Rush, who Mr. Sensitive thinks is better than he let’s on. Really?
And did I mention The Carlson is getting sensitive?
The Bar. Return of Whores on the Porch. The Carlson doesn’t remember more and obviously didn’t keep his journal. Maybe he wouldn’t be so sensitive about critiques if he did. Hmmm? You think about that before, big boy?
Anyway, there are a few more nuggets here worth listening to, so go at CCMPodcast 9 right here.
The Big Bang Theory
Seriously, how does he remember this shit? You remember who I got pissed about not being able to draft in the FFL Draft? WTF?
Then again, I guess that’s what he gets when he stays sober.
I win.
Okay, on to Camelot. No seriously, this Symposium was held in Camelot… Campground.
BREAKING NEWS: I’m 5 minutes into the CCMPodcast, and I already don’t remember anything of what The Carlson is talking about. Okay, back to reading.
Where were we? We had a new place, another trip to Dooks (seems it was my bachelor party, or so they say) and something about playing golf on a PGA Tour course, which I don’t remember because I didn’t go.
And here’s a good question: Why have we never had fireworks at the Symposium? It’s close to July 4, as The Carlson points out, and yet, we’ve never had a fireworks display. This may need to be remedied soon. (FYI, just drive to Quincy. You have to go through Missouri and you’ll find plenty of fireworks if you want to buy some to bring).
The Carlson also does a fine job of describing the CCMP’s Big Bang Theory, and by ‘fine’ I mean, I agree with his assessment that it doesn’t do it justice. Give it a listen anyway.
The Symposium 